in sickness and in health

We received this email recently from a gentleman in the United Kingdom who's 29-year-old wife is dying of melanoma. With his permission, we are posting his email below. This is yet another tragic example that although early treatment is very effective in treating melanoma, it can come back stronger than before. So if you have been treated in the past, please go back for annual checkups. Based on examples I've read like this, I don't know that you are ever really "in the clear" after having a mole removed. This is such an insidious and aggressive disease that there is always a chance it can sneak back. The Susan Torres story is a recent reminder of this.

Please read the story below about how his wife is bravely going through this. She has already arranged for her own funeral.

Subj: Hi from the UK

Hi, my wife had a mole taken off 5 years ago from behind her right ear, it was malignant melonoma but a wide cut was taken and we were told it was a clean cut and she would need to go to clinic as a precaution!

Nothing has ever shown itself until may of this year when a small blue lump came up on her back we also noticed 3 more on her skin, after a biopsy again we were told it was malignant melonoma but because it had moved around she was to have a scan! our worst nightmares were confirmed after the scan as she has 3 tumors on the liver and 2 next to her brain 1 of which is 3cm's in size!

She has had radiotherapy and at present going through chemotherapy is on steroids and in only 3 months she has changed in looks and personality to a point that some times i cant see the girl i married, Malignant melonoma although caught early and cut out is pretty much curable but when it has spread it is incurable and treatment rarely works and is only given to prolong life!

My wife (Denise) is only 29 years old we have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl, Denise has only been given 12 months to live! the scary thing is that she never knew until this lump appeared and then it was too late, Malignant melonoma is on the rise and here in the UK it is going up 7% a year and up to 2000 people die from this cancer each year, it effects all ages but now is showing up more and more in younger people and we need to raise awareness.

My wife has been so far an inspiration to me and to others, she has accepted she is going to die and is now determined to send out the message about melonoma and is raising money for cancer research, making and selling bandannas for charity and is holding a fund raising event in October for Malignant melonoma research in which we have already received a cheque for one thousand pounds, she is suffering but refuses to lay down and is carrying on as normal as possible for the sake of our children and people around her as she is aware this effects all around and not just herself.

She is so on top of this that she has even arranged her funeral ! at first i was not sure i could handle this myself and watch her die but seeing how she has coped and got on wtih life has made me realise that i have to be strong for her and for my kids and i am determined to carry on fund raising in her name after she has gone and also determined not to let this bring us down and give my kids the best i can. For now even though it's the toughest time of our lives i will do what i can for her no matter how hard it gets! i vowed "in sickness and in health" and i intend to live out that vow with no question, final word must go to my wife who i love dearly and i am so proud of, you fight with all your might and i will be there all the way!

I have looked around your website and it is something i myself am looking to do for Denise as a UK based site with chatrooms and forum with links to relevant sites for information and look to aim it at the younger sufferers of melonoma, somewhere to find all the info you need in one place even down to what government benefits you are entitled to.

Denise has made frontpage news this week in our local paper telling her story and put a plea out for fabric to make her bandannas !

We have been inundated with offers and also some donations, on tuesday we have a national magazine coming round to do a simular article and we are going to ask for help in starting a website, after seeing your site and how good it is has made my mind up to do this, both Denise and i are sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, we are determined to do what we can to help others and raise awareness of this cruel disease and i intend to carry it on after Denise has gone all i her name (even if i have to learn to sew and carry on making bandannas) i wish you luck in all that you do to help others, and thankyou for a website that has given me the inspiration to do my own!